Gnarlyville

Gnarlyville

My very very good friend JL helped me invent the town we would like to live in. Well, I know I want to live there for sure. I am pretty solid that JL would live there, seeing that he is the City Attorney. I am the Mayor. When you invent a town, you can be mayor or what ever you want to, but if you live in my town, I’m Mayor. And yes, all of you Simpson’s fans, I am going to wear the sash that says mayor, just like Mayor Quimby. Why you ask? Why? I’ll tell you why. Because I am smart, S M R T oh wait! (an homage to my buddy WHW from our old SFRS days when the Smart card program started).

OK, so in Gnarlyville, people are happy. Always happy. We have great music playing on speakers located all over town, unless you plan on listening to your own mix, which is cool. We ride bikes, run, and surf. Yes, it is a coastal town, but it isn’t far from the snow so we can ski and snowboard, or build snow forts, sled, make snow people, have snowball fights. Oh yeah, and have contests to see who has the best penmanship when writing in the snow.

We have an awesome zoo. There are lots of lions, tigers, penguins, monkey type animals and such. And, they are all cool with you petting them. That’s right; you can pet a full grown polar bear in Gnarlyville. Hell, if you want a pet Rhino, you can have one. Personally, I plan on having a Llama, and a Pygmy Marmoset that hang around my mayoral office

In Gnarlyville, there are some very interesting laws. One day per month, is Naked day. Everyone has to walk around naked. Don’t worry; it is always warm on Naked day. This helps in several ways. First, no one is gonna feel self conscious in my town. If every one sees you naked once a month, you will have no reason to feel bad about your body. You will either feel like working out a bit more, and if you do, people will notice and tell you how good you look, or you won’t care, and being naked won’t matter. Plus, lets be honest, prurient interest is kind of fun.

The food is all great, low fat and free. You can tip as much as you like. I have outlawed Starbucks though. I know some of you may be addicted. I have one right next door to my bike shop, but, we have Gnarlybucks. You can get beer, coffee, Dr. Pepper, you name it, you can get it at Gnarlybucks.

So, if you want to live there, let me know. I would love to have you as one of my neighbors. Come on along. Bring your surfboard, bike, and any thing you like, but leave the angry, sad and unhappy at the town line.

Love and laughs to all of my friends out there.

I talked with a hero of mine!

Hi to all of you out there. I hope you are feeling happy and had a nice weekend. I worked all weekend again. I have been working quite a few weekends lately. I have a shortage of employees right now. But my right hand man Larry and I are working on fixing that.

So, let me tell you about bicycles. I can be accused of being a bicycle junkie. An addict. A bit more interested than your average American. I got hooked in 1983. Watching ABC’s Wide World of Sports, I got interested in Triathlon. However, I realized I was much better at the bike part, and not so good at the swim and run. So I decided to specialize.

I love bikes. They have souls. They make your soul feel good when you ride them. They can take you on adventures when you are young. Give you that sense of freedom. They let you roam and explore. I found neighborhoods I didn’t know about. I saw friends, strangers, nice dogs, mean dogs, and all sorts of fun things. I definitely don’t ride as much as I should or would like to. You, as my friends, who may be reading this, need to keep on my case about riding.

Yesterday, I was working along, just like any other Saturday, well with the exception that it was in the 40’s and it was raining and at a few points, it was hailing, and in walked my boss Mike, with none other than Greg LeMond! One of my all time hero’s. I was actually pretty shocked. I said hi to them, and then turned around to finish up with my customer. I had to giggle and say “see that guy over there, that is Greg LeMond!” For the next 10 minutes or so, we all talked, got some photos, autographs. My customers were pretty stoked, I know I was. Greg is a very nice guy. I will post the photo once I get it.

I guess the point of this post is to remind myself that I have a pretty good job. I get paid to work around things that I love, and I need to give myself a little more credit. One of these days, I may learn to like myself, and take care of me. And that is something I want all of you to do too. Take care of yourself. Remember that you are a great person, and you have someone out there that thinks you are awesome. Try to forget the crappy stuff, and remember the good. Life is too short to be sad. Be happy, laugh, love and don’t let the people who don’t get this, get you down. Stay Gnarly.

A Little More about Me

As my first post says, I am all about happy. I was the kid digging in the pile of horse poop to find the pony. My lovely Wife Kathy calls me "Silver Lining Boy". I can find the positive spin in almost any situation. There is one exception, when it comes to me. I am not my biggest fan. I always think I could have done something better, faster, smarter. I am trying to learn to like me.

I am an admitted bicycle addict. I have a sweet Trek Madone 5.9 SL, with Project One paint. I have Campy Record shifters, and derailleurs, Bontrager Carbon cranks, Mavic brakes, Mavic Ksyrium ES wheels, and lots of other cool carbon parts. If I could own 50 bikes, I would want 51.

I love toys. Silly putty, leggos, GPS units, MP3 players, pots and pans, slot cars, model rockets and those cool balsa wood airplanes with the rubber band driven propeller.

I have one tattoo, Calvin and Hobbs riding on their wagon. I want another one, of Curious George riding his bike. My sister, who I love, offered me $100 to not get my first one. Didn't work.

You know those cool machines that crush a penny with a design, well I think those are AWESOME! I always tell friends and family to get one for me if they are going on a vacation.

My hero's are my father, mother, Coach Morris, my wife, my mother-in-law, my sister, my brother-in-law, Dr. Zidditt, CB and Julia Child, Dave Staub and John Palmer.

I have two cats, Slick and Baby Phfill. Slick has picked me, and BP has picked Kathy.

If I had to pick 6 people to have dinner with, it would be my Dad, JL, CB, tommy lasorda, Tom Hanks, Kurt Vonnegut. We would have dinner at the Llama farm, out on the deck.

I wish I had an afro.

I really really love Thai food, most of all when my Pal SAC is cooking. Second would be at Saffron.

See's candy, Scotch Mallow, is the best damn candy in the world.

I am definitely a liberal. Heck, think communisim is a great idea. I would love it if we could all share. But, come on, not in this country, We are all special, individuals, just like everyone else.

I really liked living in Bloomington, IL. I miss CB and Verona, Dr. Zidditt, SF Diva and Little Litha.

I actually think jumping out of a plane sounds like fun. Well as long as you have a parachute.

I once spent a week in an underwater habitat with Salma Hayek, she is a total cheater when it comes to playing cards. However, she is a great dancer, but she learned it all from me.

I value my family and friends above everything.

Ok, hope that clears a few things up. Let me know if you have any other questions, I'd love to answer them.

I think I will see how this goes.

Ok, I was definitely inspired by a good friend of mine, Bill, who has a great blog, http://spaces.msn.com/TVAndStuff/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c . Go read it and tell him how great it is.

Let's see, those of you who know me, know I am all about one thing, happy. My favorite sound is laughter. I don't like unhappy. I don't like angry. I don't like a@# holes. However, I do understand that these things are a part of the world. People get unhappy, angry and can be really big, smelly, annoying A@# HOLES.

This blog will be my attempt at combating, counter balancing, and putting the above type of people out of business, in the making people not happy business, that is. I will attempt to spread my brand of happy around the planet. (And maybe teach myself how to be more forgiving of others and myself, and let me vent some of the crazy crap that is floating around in this huge, sputnik noggin of mine.)

Why do I want to do that? Well let me tell you. If you open up my head and look inside, there is a constant battle of little crazy, mean, angry people, fighting with the funny, happy crazy people. For the most part, the funny, happy crazy people have been winning for years. However, it is a constant battle for me to keep the funny, happy crazy people in there stocked up with all the stuff they need to keep me from really going bingo zowie wackadoooo! That is why I named this blog what I did.

I have this world vision that every person is happy. My friend Jon and I actually invented a town called Gnarlyville. Long story, and I will get to it soon. Let me just say, that no one in Gnarlyvill is unhappy. They are all Gnarly dudes, and Gnarly gals. And if you are wondering, I am Mayor of Gnarlyville, and Jon is the Gnarlyville city attorney. If you would like a job there, let me know.

So, I am hoping to entertain you, make you think, absolutely make you laugh, and hopefully make you think "oh my, how in the world does this guy's brain work?!!" Take care, of yourself, your family, your friends, and be good to each other. I want all of you to be happy!